We’re exhausted, but still the problems continue to grow.If we’re trying to hide how bad our finances really are, the burden of the secret wears on us and we live in fear of being discovered.Friends or family members might grow impatient with our repeated inability to get our act together. We have little time for people we love, which adds to a sense of isolation.Worry about money is now starting to affect our sleep and our mood.Insomnia and anxiety add to our exhaustion.We might turn to alcohol, drugs, or other distractions to escape the feelings of dread that seem nearly constant.Finally, we are overwhelmed on every level.The Money/Life Drain illustrates that an unhealthy pattern of relating with money can affect every aspect of our lives.This is true wherever we may be on the economic spectrum.It’s true of a single parent struggling to live on a limited income.It’s equally true for those who have tremendous financial resources but are not managing them.Some caught in the Money/Life Drain are in a constant cycle of debt.It feels as though they can never pull themselves out of the drain.Others may have no debt at all but feel that they are not in control of their spending or that their life’s purpose has been undermined by financial patterns that don’t sustain them.Some feel that they’re watching their resources disappear before their eyes.Some may be on the brink of financial disaster, while others may simply feel a nagging sense that their relationship with money is causing unnecessary anguish or keeping them from fully enjoying the benefits of a secure financial life.The Money/Life Drain looks different for different people, but the feeling can be the same.Melanie is an example of someone caught in the early levels of the Money/Life Drain.Despite the fact that she was a star in her agency, she couldn’t seem to get ahead.Between commissions, she and her family lived on credit cards, keeping no track of what they spent.When she made a sale, Melanie’s sizable commission would pay off her debt.She’d bring every balance back to zero.As her commissions grew, so did the size of the debt.She thought she was doing the responsible, sensible thing by paying the cards off each time, but as the pattern went on, she realized that even large commissions barely covered the debt accrued between sales, leaving nothing for ongoing living expenses, let alone savings.The charge cards had become her standard form of payment.Eventually, it was hard to feel excited about a big sale because the money was already spent.Melanie was caught in a repeating pattern.No matter how hard she worked, how many sales she made, she could never get ahead and feel safe, secure, or successful.That’s the experience of being caught in the Money/Life Drain.Melanie and her family were not in financial crisis, but they eventually could have been if she had not changed her unhealthy pattern of money behaviors.But this is not what I’m talking about here.Underearners are sometimes among the hardest working of my clients.Many have multiple jobs or work long hours with little time for themselves.In addition to working, they may serve as volunteers for
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