I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win.
No pun in ten did. he he he
How do you measure a snake?
In inches—they don’t have feet. he he he
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Where does a waitress with only one leg work?
IHOP. he he he
What kind of shoes make fun of you.
Mock-asins. he he he
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A house wears Address. he he he
Some days a diamond. Some days a losing stone.
Have a blessed day
Why didn't the melons get married?
They're canaloupes. he he he
I told a bad chemistry joke once.
I got a bad reaction. he he he
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What do grandmother deer to to their grand children?
Fawn all over them. he he he
What does a grandmother and a website have in common?
You can't deny the cookies. he he he
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I started walking five miles a day when I was 60 years old...
Now I have no idea where could I am
"My grandmother ate spaghetti everyday… Until she pasta-way." he he he
Some days a diamond, some days a single stone.
Have a blessed day.
There was a man who said that he would go through hell for his partner.
They got married and now he is going through hell.he he he
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one.
Trouble starts when they try to figure out which one. he he eh
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Marriage is like going to a restaurant. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
he he he
When you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always get the last two words in:
“Yes, dear.”
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My wife thought she found Mr. Right, she just didn't know my first name was "Always"
Love is a long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.
Some days a diamond, some days a wedded stone.
Have a blessed day.
I always wanted to be a dective, but we all know
I haven't got a clue. he he he
I took a ladder to the the investigation?
Which took the case to a whole new level! he he he
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Four Catholic women are talking about their sons while having coffee together
The first woman says “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone says ‘Father.’”
The second says “My sons is a bishop. When he walks into a room, everyone says ‘Your Grace.’”
The third says “My son is a Cardinal. When he walks into a room, everyone says ‘Your Eminence.’”
The fourth just quietly sips her coffee, and the other three give her a “well, what about you?” type look.
The fourth woman finally says “My son is a handsome, 7-foot-tall firefighter. When he walks into a room, everyone says ‘Oh. My. God.’”
he he he
The firefighters in Greece are making the fire worse.
You aren't supposed to use water on Greece fires. he he he
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What award do you give a firefighter?
Most extinguished
how do you know there is a firefighter at your party?
he's got all the hose he he he
Some days a diamond, some days a detective stone.
Have a blessed day.
No way would I ever invite Jessica Fletcher to my town.
If you did someone was about to die, and you may be blamed.
he he e
What’s a detective’s favorite dessert?
Clueberry pie. he he he
What is a funeral director's favorite desert?
Blue-berry pie. he he he
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The wife called the fire department
She said money was burning a hole in my pocket.
he he he
What’s the difference between a lieutenant and a vacuum?
Where the dirt bag sits. he he he
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The two things a Engineers hate most: change and the way things are.
he he he
Some days a diamond some days a Murder she wrote stone.
Have a blessed day.
